


Closets are for Clothes

by BabyyCakess



Category: CW Network RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming Out, Fluff, M/M, slight references to alcoholism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-21
Updated: 2013-11-21
Packaged: 2018-01-02 05:03:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1052837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabyyCakess/pseuds/BabyyCakess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared is sick of hiding and Jensen really didn't mean to come out that way but sometimes good things happen on accident.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Closets are for Clothes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [linvro21](https://archiveofourown.org/users/linvro21/gifts), [alycat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alycat/gifts).



> based off of this at j2 prompts on livejournal  
> http://j2-prompts.livejournal.com/8024.html?thread=59224#t59224
> 
> for linvro21 because she's super sweet and a great cheerleader who helped me when I had writers block so thank you so much, I hope this is okay

"Jen, come on. It's a week away." 

Jensen sighs, sick of the same argument. There's only one solution, he knows, but he just isn't ready. Probably never will be; it's just...he's so damn scared. His family has never been overly religious or bigoted, and they're friendly enough to everyone, no matter their preference. But sometimes, people feel differently when it's family. He doesn't want to lose his family, but he's also so tired of the questions from his family, the inquisitive gaze of his lovely mother. The unspoken question of "Why are you still single?"

He's going to be 29, and he knows it's strange he's never introduced a significant other to his family. He's not single, very much in love with Jared Padalecki, who happens to be out and proud and this is the probably the 14th time this month that they've gotten into the same argument. 

Jensen wants to come out, he does. He loves Jared, more than he's ever loved anyone before. He wants to spend the rest of his life with Jared, he's sure of it. He is so very sure of that. His days aren't complete without hearing Jared's loud laugh and seeing his dimpled smile. Sleep evades him when Jared isn't cuddled up to him, shaggy hair tickling his chin. Jared is the one for him, he is absolutely certain.

He just doesn't want to tell his family he's gay. That he's known he's gay for as long as he can remember. He wants it so badly but he's so scared to say that yes, he's gay, but he's still the same Jensen.

And maybe he doesn't tell Jared how much he loves him in so many words, doesn't do the whole romantic spiel, but he loves Jared. 

Jared has to know that, even if his family doesn't know about them.

But now he's looking at Jensen with his big puppy dog eyes, and they're sparkling, letting Jensen know that he's about to cry.

He rushes to Jared's side, cups his face in his hands, makes sure to meet his eyes. 

"Jare, you know I love you. I do. So, so much. But." He pauses, searching for the right words to explain. "My family isn't like yours. They haven't known I'm gay for the majority of my life. It's gonna be a surprise. It's gonna be a big thing. And it's the holidays. I don't want to deal with it right now. I don't want to mess anything up, ok?"

Jared sniffles, looks away. 

"It shouldn't be like this, Jen. You asked me to stay here with you; you told me we would tell them together. That I would get to meet your family AS YOUR BOYFRIEND." He takes a breath and blinks away more tears. "Jen, I'm giving up Thanksgiving with MY family so I can be here with you when you tell them. And now you want to put it off again? AGAIN."

Jensen huffs out a breath. He knows how it sounds. He wants to fix this but he can't. He can't do it. He's not ready. 

"Baby, I just--"

Jared shakes his head. "No, Jen. I can't...I can't do this right now, ok. Just. I'm gonna go to Chad's."

Jensen watches him leave without a word. 

*

So maybe Jensen was a little bit drunk. 

Maybe.

A little.

But Jared decided to stay the night at Chad's, and Jensen was all alone in an apartment for two. An apartment where Jensen had made a life with Jared, and it showed. The fridge was filled with candy and the pumpkin eggnog Jared loved so much, sitting innocently next to Jensen's half-eaten, sub Jared had got for him on the way home from work yesterday, just because. Nice, thoughtful bastard.  
There were pictures of them, arms wrapped around each other, so obviously in love and together in a cluster of their closest friends. 

Photographs that he would have to take down, hide them from his parents when they came for Thanksgiving dinner in a week. 

Jensen fell asleep with the aid of too much alcohol that night, missing Jared's warm body next to him in their bed.

*

He wakes to the smell of bacon, and smiles softly to himself. 

He has a hangover, of course he does. But Jared's home, and that alone makes everything infinitely better. Stumbling into the kitchen, he sees two Advil and a glass of orange juice sitting on the counter, while Jared wordlessly continues to make bacon and eggs. 

"Thanks, Jay." 

Jared gives a curt nod, and Jensen wonders what he's ever done to deserve such a perfect boyfriend.

What he ever did to deserve Jared, who is just so patient and so kind and so loving and so very understanding. 

Jared, who puts up with his bad attitudes and loves him, even when Jensen drinks and acts like a jerk.

Jensen downs the pills and finishes his juice, grateful when Jared sets a plate full of food in front of him. He gives a small smile, so goddamn happy when Jared returns it, even if it is a bit hesitant.

"Listen, Jen." Jared says in the middle of their quiet yet comfortable breakfast.

Jensen gives him his full attention.

"I think that maybe I should go home for the holidays. To see my parents." 

His face is carefully blank.

Jensen immediately starts to object. "Jare, no. I will tell my parents, eventually. But for right now, we should just let them think we're friends. Good friends. Who live together. We're friends, roommates. You'll be more comfortable that way anyways."

Jared turns away, pours himself a glass of juice. Tries to keep busy and keep his emotions in check. 

"Don't make this about me, Jensen. Don't do that. I'm out. I'm gay and I'm comfortable with who I am and my family knows. They accepted it a long time ago. They love me, and you know what else? They love you. I love you, Jen. But I've never hidden who I was and I'm not going to start now." He takes a deep breath. "So I'm going to see my parents for Thanksgiving."

"You knew, Jared! You knew going into this that I wasn't out! That I wasn't ready to come out yet!" Jensen snaps.

"Yeah, Jen, I did know. I knew going into this THREE FUCKING YEARS AGO that you weren't ready to come out to your family. And I accepted it and I stood by you. Countless times you told me you would come out to them and you keep putting it off. I know you're scared, fuck, believe me, I get it. But Jen, they're your family and they love you. That's not going to change, I know it." Jared said with conviction, and Jensen wished he could be so sure.

Jensen ran his hand over his face, tired of arguing. 

"Jared, no. Just no, ok. I will come out to them. But it has to be on my terms. Not now."

With shaking hands, Jared wiped a stray tear away from his eye. "Jen. You've put this off for so long now. I love you, and I want to be with you. But I'm serious about us, Jensen. I want you to introduce me to your family as your boyfriend and I want your family to love me as much as mine loves you. I want to marry you someday. And I can't keep--" his voice shakes as he continues, "I can't keep hiding and pretending I don't love you. Because I do. So much, Jen." Jared finished with tears streaming down his face. 

Jensen, scared shitless and so in love, hugs Jared tight for a few seconds, and can't look Jared in the eye as he pulls away, mumbles "I gotta go" and then walks away, out of the door, without once looking back.

*

He should probably stop using alcohol as a coping mechanism, Jensen thought bitterly to himself.

But it seemed so simple to go to the bar and see if he could find answers to his problems in a bottle.

It didn't work, but whatever.

Jared was most likely at home, sad and alone and again, Jensen wondered what he'd done to deserve him. He knew that he was pushing Jared farther and farther away and he couldn't seem to stop himself.

And usually Jensen didn't drink tequila but

He blames tequila for sending the text that changed everything.

*

It was supposed to be a way to get Jared to talk to him. See how much damage he had done by walking out.

As he typed the text out, he knew it would only cause more harm, but he figured it couldn't get much worse.

So he sent it.

*

Jensen:  
If my family asks, just say you're my roommate, pls. I cannot deal with this coming out shit right now.

*

His phone buzzed a few minutes later and he wondered how pissed Jared would be. 

He wondered if it would be the thing that pushed him away for good. 

He wondered why he was hurting someone he loved so much.

He opened up the new text in his inbox.

*

Mom:  
Ok, so would you like me to pretend I didn't see that? And continue pretending not to know what I've known since you were 15?

*

Jensen:  
Well, that wasn't supposed to happen.

*

Mom:  
Can't wait to meet your "roommate" xoxoxoxoxo

*

Jensen:  
omg mom stop

*

Jensen sighed, set some money down on the bar, and took off towards home.

It was so different, to read the texts over and over and over and he just felt so free, like he was done hiding such a huge part of himself, and he couldn't wipe the smile off of his face.

He just hoped Jared could forgive him.

*

Walking through the door was terrifying. 

Jensen could admit he fucked up, quite a bit, if he was being honest.

Jared was the first person he'd ever really loved, romantically. He was the first guy who'd meant something to Jensen. 

When Jensen was 11 and started looking at boys 'in that way', he told himself it was a phase.

When he was 15, he told himself it would go away if he made out with a guy. Just once.

(Who knew that his mother saw him kissing Tom in the backyard one night?)

Jensen only ever admitted to himself he was gay and then all of a sudden, there was Jared.

Jared with his floppy hair and his loud laugh and everything was so simple, so easy, with Jared. They just fit. They made sense in a way that nothing else ever had and Jensen fell hard and fast and 

he was so in love with Jared and he could admit that to himself, and to Jared, because everyone knew Jared felt the same.

Eventually, he could admit it freely to his friends and they all accepted him but he never ever wanted to tell his parents or his big brother. 

It was too scary to think about, so he tried not to.

But Jensen realized there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for Jared and he tried to tell his parents so many times, tell them all about the man he loved and how he liked guys since he could remember but the words just wouldn't come and he'd never meant to come out to his mom in a text message sent to the wrong person but he did and

walking through the door was terrifying.

(He hoped Jared could forgive him)

*

Jared was in bed, curled up, sleeping peacefully in the blankets and it was past 11 and Jared had to get up early for work in the morning but Jensen was so in love with Jared and he had to fix this, had to tell Jared how much he meant to him and he never meant for all his fear to overshadow the love and he was just sorry, so goddamn sorry

Jared stirred slightly when he realized Jensen was home and holding him so tight he could barely breathe.

"Jen, what--?" he started.

Jensen sniffled, overcome with emotion. "I'm so sorry, Jare. So fucking sorry, I love you too, so much, baby. Please, forgive me. I'm so sorry, never wanted to hurt you," the alcohol in his system made it hard to be completely coherent, his thoughts a jumbled mess but so in love that it hurt to think that he had put this off for three years and his mom knew and Jared was everything he'd ever wanted and he hadn't treated him like that. He'd treated him like a dirty secret, had planned on putting their pictures in the closet when his parents came, so far in the closet, and it was so nice to be out and to still be Jensen.

Nothing had really changed, but everything had changed.

Jared pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

"Jen, it's alright. You can come out when you're ready, I won't push you anymore, ok. I just...I love you and--"

"My mom knows, she always knew," Jensen cut him off. 

Jared sat there, eyes wide with wonder, mouth open in surprise. 

"And there was a texting mishap and--"

He was cut off by Jared's lips, pressed so gently against his. So goddamn loving and he didn't deserve this perfection, this wonderful man who loved him but he had him and he would never let go.

He was out. He was happy. He was so goddamn in love. 

He was still Jensen and he had Jared and he knew everything would be okay. 

They fell asleep kissing, slow and sweet and so in love.

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are love <3


End file.
